Is Sex Important To Your Marriage?

Nookie. Makin' woopie. Intimacy. Human mating. Let's call it what it is. Sex. Sex is a magical thing. Fundamentally, it is how we grow our families. It is how we connect. Would you agree that couples that are the happiest have great sex lives? But really…how important is sex in your marriage?

Is Sex Important To Your Marriage?
Me and the Husband on our wedding day.

I believe that sex is an indicator of intimacy. Yes, there are other ways of showing you love your spouse, but if sex is super low on your list of priorites, there may be a problem. It could be that you don't desire your spouse that much. Or maybe you have a lack of self confidence. Both of these issues should be addressed. Sex is a good indicator of your level of physical intimacy in your marriage. (Please note: I definitely understand being a tired, working Mom with no energy at the end of the day so that is not what I am talking about here. There are also such things like hormonal imbalances after having children that lower your sex drive, so that may be something you want to discuss with your doctor.)

I believe that sex bonds couples together. It instills trust and faith in your marriage that you are desired by your partner. It allows you to be honest and bring passion into your marriage. It is healthy to be in a marriage with desire and passion. Sex will give you intimate moments that you share with your partner alone and will bring the two of you closer. When you are close, you can be honest. When you are honest about your needs, wants or worries, then you will be able to connect on an extremely intimately level. And that is a good feeling.

I believe that sex helps to solve problems. You know that saying at the end of a fight, “Let's kiss and make up?” Well, it really works. You are two people in a marriage, there WILL be times that we will not agree with our spouse. It will be an agree to disagree. FOREVER. So nothing helps to bury the hatchet more than passion and love. When we argue with our spouse, it is a total romantic buzzkill. Sex helps to light that passion, fire and romance to bring you together again and remind you why you married your spouse.

I asked my facebook friends for intimacy tips today. Go to my facebook page to see the full story advice. Thank you for sharing ladies!

Cyndi said, “Go on dates…read books together…(Loveology by John Mark Comer)…serve eachother…extend copious amounts of grace…”

Lindsay said, “I think a big thing is to be honest…”

Obviously, there ae even more ways to deepen your intimacy with your spouse, sex is just one way. Tell me in the comments below what you do in your marriage to deepen your intimacy and what you do to keep the romance alive!



Tags: intimacy, marriage, sex
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  1. Reply

    Hi Rosie – I absolutely agree with this. It is so easy to let sex and intimacy take a back seat when we are busy and tired. I find that I have to be very intentional about making sex a priority.

  2. Reply

    Sex is one of the biggest factors of happiness in my relationship. It took a long time for us to get on the same page (he was far less experienced and had had mostly bad sexual experiences before me), but honesty and being in touch with ourselves and what we both needed was key.

    We’ve been long distance for like 95% of our relationship, so here’s how we keep the passion alive:

    1. Talk. Then talk some more. We share when we are thinking about the other in “that way.” It’s important to let your partner know that you think of them as desirable! There’s lots of ways to talk too – email, text, phone, handwritten letter. It sounds cheesy, but something as small as a note or text saying “Your butt looks awesome in those jeans you wore yesterday” is a HUGE confidence booster! Yes, even for men!

    2. Buy lingerie for each other IN THE OTHER PERSON’S TASTE. You want him/her to feel comfortable in it! For men, obviously there’s a huge selection to choose from, for women, a tight pair of boxer briefs can look darn good on your partner, or buy a shirt or pairs of jeans that you want to see him in.

    3. Sexy photos. They don’t need to be fancy or complicated; a shot of you in your underwear before getting dressed for the day would make most men’s day to get it. You can also get professional boudoir photos done, or ask a friend you trust to do it for you (I did this with a friend, we rented a hotel room and took turns taking photos for our guys; it was a lot of fun!).

    4. Phone sex. Yeah, it was really weird at first, and it’s really best if you respond well to audio stimulation. You need a healthy stock of ideas of what you’d like to do with your partner for this to work. Trust me – it doesn’t have to be cheesy and embarrassing! Start slow; in one phone call, just get use to telling the other ideas of what you wish you could do at that moment. If it goes somewhere, great! If not, try again with the next call in which you’re both relaxed and feeling in the mood.

    5. Tumblr. We both have accounts there and we follow people who post sexy photos. We then repost those for the other to see. This gives each other tons of ideas for things to do when we are together in person again, and it’s easy to find photos on Tumblr that are classy and seductive vs “porn site porn.”

    Hopefully this is helpful for someone! Thanks for sharing at SITSShareFest 🙂

  3. Reply

    I totally think its important! You don’t have to have sex ten times a day (or even a week!) but it is important to be intimate with your partner. Like you said, there will be times you have to agree to disagree, and sex is a great way to bury the hatchet!

  4. Reply

    I agree 100%, sex is crucial to the relationship. It definitely zeros in on the level of intimacy that exists within a relationship. You should want to be with your partner and if you don’t definitely something that should be addressed. Glad someone is talking about sex here! Have a great one Rosie! -Iva

  5. Reply

    I totally agree with you with every ounce of my being that sex is important for your marriage (hence, why I write about it A LOT on my blog!)
    I’ve never mentioned how it brings you close enough to be honest with each other. That is a great point. When you’re physically close with someone and feel like you’re one with them you do tend to be comfortable enough to let you’re guard down. In turn, that does remarkably lead to a person wanting to be 100% honest with you about those deep dark secrets. I know it’s true for myself with my husband.
    Great post and one that is perfect for Valentine’s Day. #SITSblogging

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